There’s a lot to be said for inner strength, a third eye, a gut feeling…but how do you strengthen your resiliency muscle? How do you make yourself keep going when it is so easy to give up; to not become paralyzed by 100 ‘no’s’ when you’re waiting for a single ‘yes’ , to keep getting up when you fall on roller skates every time you go around the curve.
I began writing this blog as a way to make sense of my daughter’s seeming inability to use her resiliency muscle in some situations. She is on the opposite end of ‘eye of the tiger’ and would rather ‘give up and go along’ just to avoid having to really struggle with something. Yet, as a write this, I am forced to think about my own resiliency muscle (something that should probably go in my journal and not on a public blog). However, here I sit about to have a brain dump on wordpress.com.
I have vivid memories of always reading as a child. I honestly think that the percentage of time that I spent reading positively correlated with the amount of chaos in my life. I read a lot. I could sit in the middle of an emotional hurricane and read, and I did. It is often said that reading takes you to another place. That is true but for me, it was much more. Reading could make me disconnect and served as a safe-haven of sorts. I still love reading as an adult, although now it really is pleasurable and not just a get-away. Although I must say that I do use my book-within-an-armsreach deal as a crutch if I’m feeling overwhelmed emotionally I can stop, drop and roll right in the middle of an argument and go get a book. And I have. Disconnect in full effect.
I wonder if I could have built up some more resiliency muscles if I wasn’t reading so much as a child–if I was forced to deal with problems and issues straight on instead of ignoring them. As an adult, I’m rather tenacious in most situations but when I am really really really up against a wall, I’m an emotional wreck and often feel paralyzed. I tend to acquiesce, avoid conflict, cry but I don’t fight life back. Inevitably, I lose some of my spirit and I come out the other side rather dented and yup, with a headache.
So, as I think about what I can do to help my 11-year-old daughter build her resiliency muscles, I should probably start with myself first or at least simultaneously. Maybe 2 more aspirin will help before I get started.
* dear friends and readers-special note* this is not a doom and gloom post. Just a reflection of what and how I choose to deal with the inevitable stuff that comes with life once in a while. no pity parties needed. Peace out.