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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Ant Lion


I walk too fast. talk too fast. drive to fast. I typically have multiple tasks going on at the same time (right now I’m writing and cooking simultaneously :/ ). I finish my boyfriend, Larry’s sentences as if I really know what he’s about to say (I don’t). When we are out together he often asks, “Hollee, did you see that?”, “Did you notice…?” (I don’t).

I’m typically in a rush – good ole’ New York City rush. Sure, I get a lot done and I’ve done a lot over the years but maybe, just maybe (no,definitely) it is time to slow waaaay down and just listen, observe, sit and wait.The ant lion sits and waits.

The ant lion digs its funnel underground and then waits patiently for the vibrations of an unsuspecting insect.  It achieves by waiting. The only reason I know about the ant lion at all is because my father noticed the almost imperceivable funnels around the foundation of his house.  He showed them to me along with the print out of his research about this creature. I was amazed at both. (I never would have noticed the funnels in the soil and I instantly realized that I am missing a lot of stuff.)   

How does one hone observation skills so acutely that even the smallest thing is noticed (the proverbial princess and the pea). Better yet, how does one become more patient and just feel comfortable waiting.

I rarely wait. Sensing my hamster-on-the-wheel, got to have it all now mentality Larry asked me to stop, sit down, think and pray and I did –and I need to do it more often. I want to slow myself down so much so that I can  just wait and perceive changes in the atmosphere, changes in direction, moves of the spirit. It’s by slowing down (being still even) that I will be elevated beyond anything that I’ve experienced before. It’s by slowing down, listening, observing, waiting and praying that I will understand and achieve the purpose that God has for me.

I’m done cooking and I’m done writing for tonight.

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2012 in life freestyle

 

Ant Lion


I walk too fast. talk too fast. drive to fast. I typically have multiple tasks going on at the same time (right now I’m writing and cooking simultaneously :/ ). I finish my boyfriend, Larry’s sentences as if I really know what he’s about to say (I don’t). When we are out together he often asks, “Hollee, did you see that?”, “Did you notice…?” (I don’t).

I’m typically in a rush – good ole’ New York City rush. Sure, I get a lot done and I’ve done a lot over the years but maybe, just maybe (no,definitely) it is time to slow waaaay down and just listen, observe, sit and wait.

  The ant lion sits and waits. The ant lion digs its funnel      underground and then waits patiently for the vibrations of an unsuspecting insect.  It achieves by waiting. The only reason I know about the ant lion at all is because my father noticed the almost imperceivable funnels around the foundation of his house.  He showed them to me along with the print out of his research about this creature. I was amazed at both. (I never would have noticed the funnels in the soil and I instantly realized that I am missing a lot of stuff.)

How does one hone observation skills so acutely that even the smallest thing is noticed (the proverbial princess and the pea). Better yet, how does one become more patient and just feel comfortable waiting.

I rarely wait. Sensing my hamster-on-the-wheel, got to have it all now mentality Larry asked me to stop, sit down, think and pray and I did –and I need to do it more often. I want to slow myself down so much so that I can  just wait and perceive changes in the atmosphere, changes in direction, moves of the spirit. It’s by slowing down (being still even) that I will be elevated beyond anything that I’ve experienced before. It’s by slowing down, listening, observing, waiting and praying that I will understand and achieve the purpose that God has for me.

I’m done cooking and I’m done writing for tonight.

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2012 in life freestyle

 

The Best Lawn (I mean, Life)


AND THE WINNER OF THE BEST LAWN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD GOES TO… Wait. I sold my house today. The house where my twelve year old daughter spent twelve years of her life. The house that I loved. The old house with the sump pump held together by a coat hanger and duct tape. The house that housed annual, ‘Back to School’ parties, ‘Say Hello to Spring’ parties, memorial day/birthday parties, halloween/birthday parties, Cafe Hollee, book clubs, and focus groups for years and years. It was the family gathering place before church with a built in china cabinet that was used to store not chinaware but – art supplies. It was the old house with a garden and a trampoline.

It is not my house anymore but it will always be my house. I’m thankful that a loving family now lives there-one of my closest friends, in fact. She is rebuilding her life and the old house with the Irish Green shutters is a huge part of that.

As for me, I live in a house in a different time and place with the man I love and who loves me right back. I love this house also. This small house with a trick drawer and a backyard gate that you have to leverage just  to be able to latch it properly. This house holds family dinners (where we pull toothpicks to see who gets to wash dishes), group hugs, veggies from the garden, Cinco de Mayo parties, Fun Fridays complete with loud R & B music from an actual record player, exuberant games of Spades and Corn Hole and lots of family and friends coming in and out.

Yes, this house shakes a little when the one certain guy drives down the street with his music blasting.  The captain of the neighborhood association recently remarked on our lawn (which seems to have done a 180) – “you know, there is a prize for the winner of the best lawn in the neighborhood”.

Well, I’m not trying to get a prize for the best lawn. I’m trying to get a prize for the best life. As I admire at my vegetable garden and water the lawn, I think to myself- I am rebuilding my life and this small house is a huge part of it.

Looking at the beautiful hibiscus that showed up in my kitchen last night — a loving gift from a loving man, I am affirmed of this very fact.

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2012 in life freestyle