RSS

Category Archives: life freestyle

Badass, Goodass Goddess


Badass, Goodass Goddess.

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 26, 2015 in life freestyle

 

87


2962_1130400576505_5081376_n[1]My grandmother (my Nanie) is 87 today and that’s pretty darn awesome. That’s old, even by today’s standard of people living longer. Her mother (my Big Ma) was 102 before she left this world, so I’m praying that my grandmother remains in her right mind and good health for another 20+ years.  I love having her around and can’t imagine life without her. I love her so much.

My grandmother is full of humor and love and compassion.  Last week, I ‘caught’ her playing in the elevator with her friend as they delivered flyers to the people in her building even though the stories were on. I heard the laughing and giggling through the elevator walls and then got sucked into their delivery route up and down on the elevator greeting everyone in their path. If I’m not mistaken, my Nanie even took away someone’s activities flyer and put it on another door (on a completely different floor, no less) because so and so “doesn’t need the flyer anyway”. LOL, seriously, did she just do that !!

The other day, I hung out with her before (or after) Steve Harvey (I can’t remember which) and she actually started gossiping (which actually doesn’t happen often). Wow, I thought–this is going to be good. It was good and she made sure to say, “my source” before every little nugget that she let’s fly around the room. She even asked me to ask one of the preachers if he was married-just wondering–she said. lol. seriously, Nanie.

In thinking about my 45 years against her 87, I hope to be as uncomplaining, fun, nice and easy going as she is …when I’m …..well, actually right now…today. That’s a good goal and she is a terrific model.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 2, 2013 in life freestyle

 

Tags:

Wah-la Wallenda


I watched with awe with 13 million people all over the world as Nik Wallenda, in his blue Discovery Channel tee- shirt and relaxed jeans, slid– footstep by footstep for 1400 feet across the Little Colorado River Gorge in Navajo Country.  His only accoutrement was the 43 pound pole balanced in his hands like a huge bird and as we quickly learned, his faith in God.

While the global community sat in their homes, stood in bars, and crouched next to their radios, Nik kept moving, one elk-skinned shoe after the other on the 2 inch steel cable.  My own body was upright, tense and still; head shaking, eyebrows furrowed, watching and thinking, ‘He is crazy’, ‘He is selfish’.  As I continued to watch, it seemed as though Nik’s body nor his spirit mirrored my own. As I hoped that I would not see this stranger fall from the sky,  I heard him say, ” Wow, what a sight!”, as he looked down into the gorge.

–really, he can notice the beauty in this stressful state?? hmmm

Then it happened, quickly and effortlessly–a calm,  “Thank you Jesus” and a host of other accolades that seemed be not to be said for him, but for God. There it was again, “Lord calm the wind. Calm the cable. Relax me.”–that was a call to God to help –all this while moving forward- as if he had to, was willed to. It was as if he expected with confidence that God was going to do the very thing he asked him to do. At the end of his walk, while I was still tense, Nik Wallenda skipped the last few feet across the cable.

I have thought about this image often in the last few days.  What if we all just kept moving forward, praising God, asking for help and noticing the beauty even in challenging situations.  So with an unfurrowed brow, I say, “Lord relax me. Calm the wind and  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.  …and since I worry obsessively at times,  I will have to just stop , crouch down and wait for the waves that I have caused to dissipate, then start again all the while knowing that I will make it across the beautiful gorge of my life while praising God even as  people support me, cheer me on, and even sit on the edge of their seats and watch.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 26, 2013 in life freestyle

 

Today will be better


I have had a hard year and that ain’t no lie.

I stepped out on faith and then didn’t trust. I led with confidence and then let 25-year-old insecurities erupt like a volcano over and over and over again. I lost my sense of purposefulness and struggled to get it back.

Up was down and down was up. Even though I was making progress, I was still drifting on self-doubt, confusion and longing-feelings I haven’t had in many, many years.

I got on my knees, turned the pages, looked at my life and I decided to dig deep.

I got into the water, floated on my back, looked at the sky and I decided to tap back in.

I decided to get stronger and snatch my power back. To reclaim me for myself.

An 11 year old said to me, “you have a smiling face” and that ain’t no lie.

I know that next year will be better. Tomorrow will be better. Today will be better. I will be better because I am fighting for it the whole way.

Namaste

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 2, 2012 in life freestyle

 

Ant Lion


I walk too fast. talk too fast. drive to fast. I typically have multiple tasks going on at the same time (right now I’m writing and cooking simultaneously :/ ). I finish my boyfriend, Larry’s sentences as if I really know what he’s about to say (I don’t). When we are out together he often asks, “Hollee, did you see that?”, “Did you notice…?” (I don’t).

I’m typically in a rush – good ole’ New York City rush. Sure, I get a lot done and I’ve done a lot over the years but maybe, just maybe (no,definitely) it is time to slow waaaay down and just listen, observe, sit and wait.The ant lion sits and waits.

The ant lion digs its funnel underground and then waits patiently for the vibrations of an unsuspecting insect.  It achieves by waiting. The only reason I know about the ant lion at all is because my father noticed the almost imperceivable funnels around the foundation of his house.  He showed them to me along with the print out of his research about this creature. I was amazed at both. (I never would have noticed the funnels in the soil and I instantly realized that I am missing a lot of stuff.)   

How does one hone observation skills so acutely that even the smallest thing is noticed (the proverbial princess and the pea). Better yet, how does one become more patient and just feel comfortable waiting.

I rarely wait. Sensing my hamster-on-the-wheel, got to have it all now mentality Larry asked me to stop, sit down, think and pray and I did –and I need to do it more often. I want to slow myself down so much so that I can  just wait and perceive changes in the atmosphere, changes in direction, moves of the spirit. It’s by slowing down (being still even) that I will be elevated beyond anything that I’ve experienced before. It’s by slowing down, listening, observing, waiting and praying that I will understand and achieve the purpose that God has for me.

I’m done cooking and I’m done writing for tonight.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 18, 2012 in life freestyle

 

Ant Lion


I walk too fast. talk too fast. drive to fast. I typically have multiple tasks going on at the same time (right now I’m writing and cooking simultaneously :/ ). I finish my boyfriend, Larry’s sentences as if I really know what he’s about to say (I don’t). When we are out together he often asks, “Hollee, did you see that?”, “Did you notice…?” (I don’t).

I’m typically in a rush – good ole’ New York City rush. Sure, I get a lot done and I’ve done a lot over the years but maybe, just maybe (no,definitely) it is time to slow waaaay down and just listen, observe, sit and wait.

  The ant lion sits and waits. The ant lion digs its funnel      underground and then waits patiently for the vibrations of an unsuspecting insect.  It achieves by waiting. The only reason I know about the ant lion at all is because my father noticed the almost imperceivable funnels around the foundation of his house.  He showed them to me along with the print out of his research about this creature. I was amazed at both. (I never would have noticed the funnels in the soil and I instantly realized that I am missing a lot of stuff.)

How does one hone observation skills so acutely that even the smallest thing is noticed (the proverbial princess and the pea). Better yet, how does one become more patient and just feel comfortable waiting.

I rarely wait. Sensing my hamster-on-the-wheel, got to have it all now mentality Larry asked me to stop, sit down, think and pray and I did –and I need to do it more often. I want to slow myself down so much so that I can  just wait and perceive changes in the atmosphere, changes in direction, moves of the spirit. It’s by slowing down (being still even) that I will be elevated beyond anything that I’ve experienced before. It’s by slowing down, listening, observing, waiting and praying that I will understand and achieve the purpose that God has for me.

I’m done cooking and I’m done writing for tonight.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 17, 2012 in life freestyle

 

The Best Lawn (I mean, Life)


AND THE WINNER OF THE BEST LAWN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD GOES TO… Wait. I sold my house today. The house where my twelve year old daughter spent twelve years of her life. The house that I loved. The old house with the sump pump held together by a coat hanger and duct tape. The house that housed annual, ‘Back to School’ parties, ‘Say Hello to Spring’ parties, memorial day/birthday parties, halloween/birthday parties, Cafe Hollee, book clubs, and focus groups for years and years. It was the family gathering place before church with a built in china cabinet that was used to store not chinaware but – art supplies. It was the old house with a garden and a trampoline.

It is not my house anymore but it will always be my house. I’m thankful that a loving family now lives there-one of my closest friends, in fact. She is rebuilding her life and the old house with the Irish Green shutters is a huge part of that.

As for me, I live in a house in a different time and place with the man I love and who loves me right back. I love this house also. This small house with a trick drawer and a backyard gate that you have to leverage just  to be able to latch it properly. This house holds family dinners (where we pull toothpicks to see who gets to wash dishes), group hugs, veggies from the garden, Cinco de Mayo parties, Fun Fridays complete with loud R & B music from an actual record player, exuberant games of Spades and Corn Hole and lots of family and friends coming in and out.

Yes, this house shakes a little when the one certain guy drives down the street with his music blasting.  The captain of the neighborhood association recently remarked on our lawn (which seems to have done a 180) – “you know, there is a prize for the winner of the best lawn in the neighborhood”.

Well, I’m not trying to get a prize for the best lawn. I’m trying to get a prize for the best life. As I admire at my vegetable garden and water the lawn, I think to myself- I am rebuilding my life and this small house is a huge part of it.

Looking at the beautiful hibiscus that showed up in my kitchen last night — a loving gift from a loving man, I am affirmed of this very fact.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on May 12, 2012 in life freestyle